What to Look for if Mom or Dad Need Assistance?

As a continuation of last month’s blog we will address a few more issues on assessing whether your parents need help or are they thriving living alone as they age. Most often people think the signs of aging and needing some assisted care is blatantly obvious. However, it usually is a gradual shift in everyday living. For example they could be struggling with household chores, getting groceries, taking their medications and so on. Usually it starts with one or two items and slowly grows until they need assistance. Below are a few signs that might help you evaluate your aging parents’ ability to live alone and thrive or do they need to start looking at other options. 

7 Signs You Might Need Assisted Living Care

Ability to Move– Getting around safely is key to everyone and especially the aging population. We take for granted our ease of moving around quickly without injury. However, some aging adults lose that ability and falling can be a big concern. According to the CDC every year one in four adults over the age of 65 fall. You do not want your mom or dad to be part of this statistic. Take a look at their living arrangements and make sure it is clear of falling hazards like slippery rugs, cords and stairs without handrails. If your aging parents continue to have issues, then you can start the process of getting assisted care.

Mental Wellness– Mental health is a big one. Depression can set in quicker than we think and can be disguised as mild sadness. However, there are true signs of depression and dementia that you need to pay attention to for your loved ones. For example, lack of sleep or get lost driving, or have a hard time being around people. These are a few of the signs to look for and there are others to keep an eye on before it gets out of control. Aging is not easy and sometimes loneliness and depression can take hold and start spiraling downward. Depression is treatable and it is important to jump on remedies earlier rather than later for the mental health of your aging loved one. 

Appearance Changes– This seems like an odd sign, but it is often most telling. If your mom dressed meticulously all the time and suddenly starts looking sloppy or wears the same thing over and over, it is a tell-tale sign that something is off, and it needs investigating. How about your dad who always looked fabulous and now does not shave or shower. This is another sign that something is off, and maybe you need to figure out what is going on with your aging parents. Some of these issues could be caused by something other than depression, like fear of falling in the shower. Therefore being aware of the signs and investigating is the first step, then you can assess what is the best option for them living healthy.and vibrant lives.. 

Managing Money–Where do you start? How about when you see several unopened bills and mail at your parents’ home, or you find out they have been donating to several charities at a pretty hefty amount. This could be signs things are off and mom or dad need some financial help soon. There are many options to this issue like open more than one account for your parents and let them have one to manage while the other account you manage and pay their bills with it. You could also get help with a financial advisor, or have all their bank statements and investment papers sent to you to make sure all financial affairs are correct and in order. Bottomline, mom and dad may have a hard time admitting they need help or don’t know they need help until it is too late. So take action and help them with financial affairs now. This is a good opportunity to have a discussion about assisted or independent living as they enter the next phase of life.

Medications–This red flag that mom or dad might need help is a little more difficult to navigate when it comes to medications. Essentially, many aging adults are taking so many medications (5 or more) that it is very difficult to determine if they are having health issues, or the cocktail of medications is not working together properly and causing issues. Therefore, you need to read your parents’ medication bottles and make sure they are following directions. Also, make sure you talk to your pharmacist about the medications your parents are taking, and ask if the medications are causing side effects that are harmful. Here again is another opportunity to see if mom and dad are still okay living at home or do you need to talk about different living arrangements.

Home Care– There are times we all have a mess in our house, but if mom or dad’s home is drastically changing with messes everywhere or spoiled food in the refrigerator or on the counter, there potentially is an issue at hand. Many times when aging adults are lonely or depressed they tend to lose interest in keeping their home or themselves. The steps may not be easy, but getting them involved in other activities or arranging dinner with friends could be a start. Having purpose and socializing keeps our loved ones engaged and they will age with grace instead of alone and sad.

Changes in Driving–Another true sign that mom or dad need some assistance is when their driving starts to go downhill. When they get confused on where they are or how to drive home or to the store, it is a sign that maybe the keys should be in your hand and not theirs. Losing driving privileges is most difficult and can cause depression or feelings of isolation. If you are worried about your parents driving, go on a ride with them and see how they fare navigating the road, and how is their response time to brake and accelerate.
Noticing a few red flags with your parents? If so, you should talk to your parents and their physician to see what the next steps are to get some help at home or in assisted living care. We are ready to help you explore the living options for your parents or loved one. If you have any questions or want some assistance in finding the right care for your loved one, contact Ann at Senior Living Options and she will help you through the process. She has over 18 years of experience and Senior Living Options is over 10 years in operation helping adult children find the best care for their aging parents.

Author: Ann Jamison

Ann Jamison is an experienced senior advisor who has successfully worked with hundreds of families to help them find the best care and home-like environment for themselves or their loved ones. Prior to launching Senior Living Options, Ann was an eldercare advisor for a national placement agency and served as sales director at a senior living community. Thanks to her 25-year career in advertising sales and marketing, Ann is able to discern between hype and reality for her clients. Ann recognizes that there are objective factors that need to be weighed when making a life-changing decision, but she can also assess the important softer attributes by getting to know her clients and by using the gut instincts that can only come through extended experience.