You just celebrated Thanksgiving with mom and dad and noticed a few things that make you wonder if they are doing okay. Mom seemed a bit confused about who family members were (more than usual), and dad kept repeating the same story over and over. This might sound familiar or exaggerated; however, this type of incidence is a clear indication that something is not quite right. Yes, in the middle of holiday celebrations, you might have been operating on exhaustion and misread the situation. However, maybe these are signs that you need to pay attention to and evaluate if maybe you need to look into mom and/or dad’s health a little deeper.

The usual fun, noise and activity of the holidays can derail anyone from their daily routine. In the midst of family fun or chaos, if something is “off.” then maybe you need to read the signals. As Christmas is approaching take a minute and reflect on what was happening at Thanksgiving and maybe you need to check on a few things with your parents. 

4 Things to Check on with Aging Parents During the Holidays

• Living Conditions of Their Home

Housekeeping can get out of hand for anyone upon occasion. Evaluating your parents home is a good start to checking on how they are doing on their own. If the yard is a little scruffy and unkempt is one thing, but if it is growing out of control, well that is entirely different. Also, when you are in your parent’s home, does it seem just messy from being busy or is there smelly garbage piling up with dirty laundry out of control around the house. The above signs are good indications that mom or dad need some assistance around their house or need to explore different living arrangements. You need to pay attention and check out what is going on in the house when they do not know you are stopping by to get a real picture. 

• Physical Conditions of Your Parents

One friend recently shared when she went to visit her mom, she noticed her mother’s weight had significantly dropped and she looked gaunt and weak. Given that her mother was an avid runner, this seemed out of the ordinary and worried her. Again, a tell tale sign that something is not right and mom needs help at home or mom is suffering from something and needs medical attention. Keep an eye on your parents while they are walking. Do they shake or have trouble with a jaunt down the street? Or do they sit often and seem to be in pain when they attempt to get up. The holidays are a  perfect time to check out their physical health. 

• Mental or Cognitive Changes in Your Parents

As mentioned before, everyone can forget names of actors or singers on  occasion, but if mom or dad forget close family members and friends, that is a cause for concern. Another sign that you may notice is mom does not know how to get home or get to her local market. Forgetfulness happens, but when it is easy stuff that we should retain, you might want to get mom or dad evaluated or examine the signs of dementia to see if they are on the spectrum.

• Mood and Behavior 

Seeing changes in their mood or behavior seems easy enough, but sometimes it is not that simple. If mom seems down and depressed at the holidays when typically she loves the spirit and liveliness of the season, maybe that is a sign to take notice of and see what is really going on with mom. If your dad used to love the noise and fun of children all of sudden seems irritable, that is telling as well, that something is just not right. We do not want to see these changes, but if mom or dad is struggling then maybe it is time to examine things a bit closer.

You have seen the signs and now what? Time to have the conversation that maybe some changes need to be made with assisted living or some other options available to you mom and dad. Navigating the road to change is not easy and especially if mom or dad do not notice the severity of their situation. Making time to talk about the living options for aging parents is a good conversation. As Christmas approaches, think about how Thanksgiving went and maybe think about what the future looks like for your aging parents. Need help with searching, visiting and selecting the next place for mom and dad’s living situation? Contact Ann at Senior Living Options. She is knowledgeable and ready to help you find the perfect fit for mom and dad.

Author: Ann Jamison

Ann Jamison is an experienced senior advisor who has successfully worked with hundreds of families to help them find the best care and home-like environment for themselves or their loved ones. Prior to launching Senior Living Options, Ann was an eldercare advisor for a national placement agency and served as sales director at a senior living community. Thanks to her 25-year career in advertising sales and marketing, Ann is able to discern between hype and reality for her clients. Ann recognizes that there are objective factors that need to be weighed when making a life-changing decision, but she can also assess the important softer attributes by getting to know her clients and by using the gut instincts that can only come through extended experience.